Keep calm and don’t lose your cool

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When most of us are faced with a tough, upsetting, or frustrating situation, the easiest thing to do is to lose our temper, get angry, shout or even cry.  The hardest thing to do is to keep calm, stay in control, and try to get to the bottom of the situation.

Few of us will be able to keep calm in a tough or frustrating situation; most people tend to lose their cool. While you might have every right to get angry, upset, shout or scream, it’s important to consider the negative consequences that this might have.  It isn’t easy, but one of the best ways to deal with a tough, upsetting or frustrating situation, is to stay calm. Staying calm allows you to think about what has happened and how to best deal with the situation.

Below is a list of things to do when faced with a tough, upsetting, or frustrating situation:

  • Stay calm – Keep calm and don’t lose your cool. This takes lots of practice. Always aim to stay calm in any difficult situation.
  • Think – Do your best to analyse the situation so that you can properly address it.
  • Talk – Talk about the situation at an appropriate time and in an appropriate place, Sometimes addressing the situation after it has just happened doesn’t bring out the best outcome.
  • Be patient – Almost all problems or situations will get better with time. Time is the best healer but time waits for no man – man must wait for time.
  • Do something good – When you are upset, sad, in pain, angry, frustrated, use your time to do something good. Channel your anger, upset and pain into something which is going to make you feel better, develop you as a person and bring about positive outcomes. Being sad, angry or upset usually doesn’t get you anywhere but it’s likely to make your situation worse.
  • Keep occupied– Find something which will take your mind off what you are going through or thinking Perhaps reading, writing, going to the gym or for a jog or walking.  Take care not to engage in something which will make you feel worse than you did before.
  • Be grateful – However bad a situation is, always remember it could be worse. If you have lost your job, try to be grateful that you didn’t lose something much more serious, like your family or your home. If you are involved in a car accident, and your car is badly damaged look on the bright side, you still have your physical health and are still alive – there are plenty of people in hospital fighting for their lives as result of a more serious road accident.



When going through a difficult situation, always remember the last time you were faced with a difficult situation, you got through that situation, and you will get through this situation as well. Keep thinking to yourself, I will get through this, I am going to get through, I must get through.  With time, patience and perseverance, you will get through your situation.

Whatever it is, talk about it. Communication is everything, communication can make or break any situation. Talking about the situation with the person or people involved in an appropriate environment, at an appropriate time, which suits everyone, will allow you to deal with the situation effectively. It is important to make sure that you chose a time which suits everyone involved. Equally vital in resolving a matter, is the environment, for instance, if it’s with an adult, then make sure that the children are not around. Sometimes resolving the matter away from where the incident took place, for instance, outside the home if it is a domestic matter (perhaps in the park at a less quiet time or while taking a walk in a quiet place, by the riverside or by the beach) will enable you to resolve an issue in a different environment which is likely to influence the outcome enormously.

Avoid trying to resolve the situation when you or anyone else involved is tired or busy doing something else such as cooking or shopping, in a busy public place or on public transport. All these could put pressure on an already a tense situation.

Although it may be difficult to get the space or the time to resolve the situation with no distractions, do your best to reduce them when attempting to discuss the situation.

Try to channel your sadness, anger or upset into something positive. If it’s something that you really enjoy doing, it will distract you from the situation. Things which you could do include; writing of any kind, reading, watching something relaxing on TV, going out with family or friends, volunteering, becoming a member of a charity or organisation, taking up a new sport, going for a walk or a jog. These are all positive methods which can be used as a distraction but will ultimately bring about positive change in your life.

Another useful way to channel your emotions is to set yourself personal targets.  These can be as simple as saying to yourself that you will replace all your negative thoughts with positive ones, or by setting yourself a target weight.

Do your best to complete whatever you start because this will give you a sense of fulfilment and self-belief.  Set yourself tasks big or small which you may have struggled with in the past and make it your mission to see these through to the end.

Be grateful and always try to look on the bright side of every difficult situation. Sometimes when you can’t see good in a situation, then the very least you can do is to learn a lesson from it.  The lessons we learn from our past experiences act as a protector in our future lives.

When you are unhappy or experiencing negative thinking, try and find the root of the problem either by yourself or with help. It is important to identify the cause of your unhappiness and negativity because, once this is done, you can address the issue and, more importantly, learn how to control it (or at least try to).

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